"I HATE ISRAEL" TOP OF THE POPS IN PALESTINE
"ISRAEL AT A LOSS" SAYS SHARON
Jerusalem -- Following the release of Egyptian singer Shaban Abed al-Rahim's new album featuring a song entitled "I Hate Israel", the tape has become a best-seller among Palestinians. Local vendors claim to have sold hundreds of tapes in recent weeks.
In an interview with the portly but kind-looking Israeli prime minister, who reminds you of your grandfather apart from the whole mass murder aspect, Ariel Sharon commented, "Israel is at a loss. No matter how much we do for the Palestinians, they can't seem to react in any way apart from hating us."
"I know things have been difficult for the Palestinians these last 8 months," Sharon added, swallowing a ripe cherry (right), as red liquid stained his fingers, evoking unfortunate memories."Just because our soldiers shot dead 500 of them, half of whom were outside clash situations, crippled for life another 1,500, and injured another 14,000, it doesn't mean that's the end of the story, does it? We Israelis look to the future, but the world expects us to build peaceful coexistance with this kind of incitement?"
Al-Rahim's song, the lyrics of which include the words "I hate Israel" as well as about 30 occurances of "Habibti, ana bahabik" ("Baby, I love you") have drawn the ire of many Israeli music professionals.
DJ Dan Uzi from Israeli Army Radio, who also serves as a tank commander in the Gilo suburb of nearby Washington DC, a mere 5,902 miles out of town, told Al-Bassaleh that he had not heard such an inciteful song since Fairuz released her "Israel, Abide By International Human Rights Law Please, That's All We Are Asking In Quite A Reasonable Way" in 1998.
"Eyfo?!" exclaimed Uzi, "We live in Is-ra-eel and these Palestinian cockroaches can't say a nice thing about us! We try to be their friends and they insult us, call us 'sons of monkeys and pigs', as if we don't have feelings, as if these things don't hurt. We just want to be friends."
"Yes, I've fired tank shells at neighbourhoods in Beit Jala," admitted Uzi, "but only in self-defence when Palestinian terrorists have fired rifle shots at our tanks."
"People shouldn't hate me for doing my job," added Uzi, before spinning in his chair, growling "Hellooo Israel!", howling like a wolf, and spinning another angst-ridden track by another Tel Aviv band that featured another whiny-sounding teenager.
Interviewed in Egypt, Shaban Abed al-Rahim's publicity agent commented that Rahim's next album was going to be called "Soldiers of Israel, put what is in your hand, in your ass."
Naji al-Moz
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